Maybe I'm Broken
by fortunator
Summary: "What do you wish for at night?""..." She eyed him, "You know, I've asked myself that a lot of times...I've been so...broken...then I realized," She smiled, tears flowing silently, "You made me so desperate to be fixed...the stars stopped listening to me."
1. Prologue

"Are you just gonna stand there?" The blonde snapped out of her reverie and saw her celestial lion spirit, his eyes averting from her gaze when he realized the tone he just used.

The celestial mage just laughed at him and apologized, but the spirit flinched at how her voice cracked.

"Look, Lucy…" Lucy heard Loke whisper from the doorway, looking away from her. "…you…you don't have to do this…"

"I do," the blonde said firmly, surprising the lion for a little bit, "I have to…do this. Not just for me…" She looked down, trying to remain her calm.

Lucy whimpered. She has had enough crying for one night.

Loke sighed and helped her pick up her bags. "You can come with me to the celestial spirit world."

She shook her head. "We'll take the train." Carrying a bag on her back and one on her left shoulder, she finalized with a nod. "Going to the celestial spirit world would take up my energy. I'd probably end up being stressed out and we both know that's not good for—" Lucy stopped midsentence and shook her head again. "Anyway, we're taking the train….Loke?"

He was slinging a bag on his shoulder when Lucy said his name, "Hm?"

"…are you sure that it's alright for you to come with me?"

The orange-haired spirit only smiled. "I'm going anywhere you're going, princess."

Lucy smiled back. "That's good. That ma…makes…"

She was cut short when her body suddenly fell forward, Loke fast enough to catch her. "Lucy?!"

"…makes…me happy…" Lucy didn't realize that her eyes were closed until she opened them again. Looking down at Loke's arms wrapped around her, tears silently fell down her cheeks. She leaned against his chest, sobbing quietly.

"I really…am weak aren't I?"

The lion frowned and shook. "Lucy, enough of that. Quit listening to what they say. You shouldn't listen to them."

"I _can't_!" She sobbed out, tears furiously freeing themselves dampening Loke's shirt. "I can't I can't I can't! I can't not listen to them! I can't have enough of it! I CAN'T STOP LISTENING! You know why?" She bit her lip furiously when he didn't answer. "DO YOU KNOW FUCKING WHY?!

 _"Because they're all TRUE!"_

Loke could only stand there as his arms fell to his sides, the blonde's hands freed and now pounding her fists into his chest as hard as she could manage. She went on for a few minutes, crying, her wails the only thing to be heard of in the room as she desperately tried to break a hole into Loke's chest.

"They're all…true…why…" Lucy whispered in a cracked, frustrated tone, slowly stopping from her punching to yeel, "Why?! Why do I have to be like this?! Why did I have to be this broken?! Why did I have to be this weak?! Why did I have to love that idiot?! Why?! Why?! Why did he have to—have to lie to me that night?!"

The blonde didn't punch his chest anymore, but shouted.

" _Why did he have to tell me he loves me and crush me just like that?!"_ She punched his chest once, "He's so unfair! So. Fucking." She gave the strongest shove she could at Loke, and he let her.

She needed this.

"So. Fucking. _Unfair!_ "

Silence replaced the air surrounding them as Lucy slowly fell forward and landed her forehead against Loke's chest. Her shoulders shook violently, the lion spirit slowly lifting his arms to comfort her as she continued to sob and whimper. He looked down at the keys on her waist. Each of them were glowing, shouting, worried for their owner.

As ironic as it was, Aquarius' key glowed the brightest.

"Lucy…"

"Why…why am I letting him affect me so much?" Lucy sniffed as Loke hugged her and patted her back. "I never should have believed him in the first place…it's too good to be true…"

Sighing, Loke slowly stroked the back of her head and whispered. "I'm sure there's a reason for everything Lucy…he just doesn't deserve you." The lion spirit frowned, 'That doofus…I never knew that he could be this cruel…'

"Hey, Loke, I'm ok now, you can let go of me." He obliged quickly, realizing he had been holding her for more than necessary. Lucy rubbed her eyes against her arm to get rid of any more tears. "So…I guess we'll be leaving now."

Loke only nodded and gestured his chin to her drawer. "Are they there?"

"Yeah…I made sure only they could read them…don't give me that look, it's not like I'm planning revenge on them." Lucy snapped at Loke, shaking her head. "I just…need some time away from the guild for a while…and…him…I guess…"

"…are you?"

Lucy looked up at his sudden question. "Huh?"

"I meant," Loke cleared his throat, "I meant that…are you gonna, you know…tell him?"

"…that hasn't been decided yet."

"But Lucy—!"

"I'm not saying that he doesn't have the right to know. He does, it's just that…" Lucy sighed in defeat, "I'm just…not sure enough to be sure of anything else."

Without another word, the orange-haired boy only gave her a pat on the shoulder and left her alone in her apartment to wait outside. The blonde watched as he left and faced her apartment one last time.

Placing her hand on the little bump on her stomach, she whispered, "I really pulled a hard one on you didn't I?" she laughed lightly and stroked it gently, smiling despite her puffy nose and eyes, "Don't worry, Mommy's not gonna cry anymore…or at least, for a long time."

Turning around to leave, she took a deep breath and left her apartment without looking back.

With two last words on her head.

 _Goodbye Natsu._

"…you wouldn't get to see Daddy for at least a long time too."

* * *

 _ **Dared to do this. Honestly hate these kinds of stories, but I guess I'll try doing one. But I can't promise anything…**_

 _ **Good night minna :)**_

 _ **-K-**_


	2. Chapter 1: Maybe I'm Happy

_**~\Chapter 1/~**_

 _ **~**Maybe I'm happy**~**_

 _ **\\*/**_

* * *

"…twenty one, twenty two…"

Slowly peeking out of her covered eyes, she saw a few strands of black poking out of a blueberry bush, and she watched it shook, as if it was giggling as she kept counting. Smirking mischievously, she closed her fingers back and counted.

"…twenty three, twenty four…one hundred. Ready or not here I come!" The blonde lady, about the age of twenty two yelled out into the small park-like part of the forest. With the black spot in her peripheral vision, she began to fake wonder as her lion spirit snickered at her, watching from the side.

"Oh no, where is my little girl hiding? I just can't find her! Oh, she's such a good hider that I can't even see a single strand of her messy hair anywhere!" The man was bursting out in laughter now, and the bush she was keeping an eye on shook even more.

Behind the bush, a little girl kneeled down with a hand cupping her mouth, trying to stop herself from going hysterical. Without noticing it she was quietly giving out giggles each time her mother passes by her hiding place. Curious to find out what's going on after realizing her name wasn't being called anymore, she slowly looks over the bush.

"Boo."

"KYAAAAA!" the little girl shrieked, causing her to jump out of her hiding place and stumble into hard ground. "Mommy!" the girl yelled, the blonde only falling down to her knees to clutch her stomach from laughing too much. The ginger behind her, was on the brink of falling himself. The girl pouted. "Uncle Loke, you're no better!"

"Aw come on Sho, don't be a sore loser." Loke said through breaths as he finished his last fit of chuckles, wiping a tear off his eye and helping her up. She scoffed and looked away. The leo shook his head, stubborn as always, he thought.

His thoughts wandered, however, to the woman still laughing her ass off on the grass.

"Mommyyy!" The girl whined at her hysterical Mom.

Loke chuckled. "Lucy, we get it."

Lucy only grinned, stopping her laughter. Standing up she walked over to her daughter and kneeled in front of her, patting her head, "Shoyuu honey, that's not how losing works."

"Oh yeah? How would you know?" Shoyuu inquires, clearly agitated.

"Sore losers should be crying to their mommies." Lucy stuck her tongue out, which only made the little brat madder. "Oh wait, I _am_ your mommy…aww, too bad for you huh sweetie?"

"Mommy!"

"Alright, alright, I'll stop." Lucy smiled and stood up, Shoyuu making an unsatisfied 'hmph!', but hugged her mother's legs afterwards anyway. What do you expect, she's only five. Lucy sighed. "You goofpuff."

"Goofpuff?" Loke questioned.

Before Lucy could explain, Shoyuu got ahead of her, "Goofball for boys, goofdoll for girls, and goofpuff for Shoyuu!"

"She likes to be unique," Lucy rolled her eyes, kneeling down to pick up her daughter. Despite her pride, Shoyuu let her. Speaking of her, she made another sound of her infamous 'hmphs!'.

Loke chuckled at the two girls and gestured his head in a certain direction. "Shall we go? We can't keep your client waiting."

"Dang it Loke, moooining the fun already?" Taurus groaned out from behind a tree. Apparently he had been trying to get in on the girls' game of hide and seek, which of course has been rejected repeatedly by Shoyuu, for the game was strictly between mother and daughter.

"What? If the client decides to bail out on us then you can't put it on me can you?"

Lucy nods as she already started walking back to the small merchant town, Shoyuu in her arms, "Loke's right. See ya later Taurus!" The cow made one last moo before Lucy closed his gate on him. Snorting at the perverted animal spirit, Loke caught up with Lucy so he could walk next to her.

"So, are you gonna meet up with him later?"

"Meh, too tired." Lucy yawned. "Besides, I think I'm much better at hand-to-hand combat now, thank you very much,"

"Yeah…" Loke had a strained tone to his voice as he stretched his back, wincing when he heard his nearly broken bones crack, "…yeah…you're welcome."

Lucy only smiled at him.

"Mommy's getting stronger!" Shoyuu suddenly shouted, surprising the two adults, "Someday, Mommy will be the strongest!"

"Hush sweetie," the blonde Mom shook her head, "that's not possible,"

"Oh really?!"

"Really,"

"Actually I second you Sho," Lucy looked at Loke in disbelief, "what? You ARE strong you know! It's not impossible!"

"Yeah Mommy, what he says!"

"You two are ridiculous," Sighing, Lucy ran a hand through Shoyuu's hair. From afar, her hair color looked more of a plain black-like shade, but up close you could see the streaks of bright red hair almost hidden among her dark strands. Shoyuu looked a lot like her too. If she were a blonde like her, people would've mistaken her for being a clone. "Shoyuu, what did I tell you about nonsensical things?"

"This is completely irrelevant to the situation Mommy because the possibility of you being the strongest is not nonsensical at all!"

"Wow. You learned a new word?"

"From yours truly," Loke piped in, looking proud of himself.

Lucy just laughed, "Ah well, heaven knows I'm glad that you're smart at least, unlike you're idiot fa—"

Shoyuu tilted her head, wondering why her mother suddenly became quiet. "Fa?"

Lucy only shook her head. "Never mind. I forgot what I was saying," from her peripheral vision, she saw Loke giving her a somewhat concerned look. She frowned, remembering how he gave her that exact same look on his face that day…

When that certain someone said…when that simple "I…" was enough to explain everything for her.

Lucy had to resist the urge to crumple her hand to a fist.

" _Was it true?"_

" _I…"_

"Mommy," Shoyuu poked at her head, "we're here. You can put me down now."

"Huh? Oh," Lucy put her daughter down after seeing that they were already in front of her apartment. She turned around and saw Loke talking to—

"Carol-nii!" Lucy called out in surprise.

"..eah, I know—huh? Ah! Lushin!" his eyes widened along with his grin as he faced her, "Yo!"

"What are you doing here?" Lucy asked as she walked over to them, Shoyuu following closely behind her. "And quit calling me that!"

Carol chuckled at her, weaving a hand through his green hair, "I know, I know. Sorry, Lu _shin_!" Lucy groaned and swung a kick to his jaw, the mischievous fellow dodging her attack. "I see you've been studying my lessons. Good girl Lushin!"

"Shut it bush head!" the guy feigned hurt by reaching an arm up to his chest, like he was invisibly shot by an arrow, Lucy scoffed it off, "You didn't answer my question,"

"Can't an old friend not come and visit after such a long time of separation?" Carol whispered acting passionate, hand still on his chest as he looked up at the sky. Lucy stifled a laugh.

"We saw each other yesterday? You taught me how to punch someone without arms or legs. Remember?"

"What the hell are you talking about? I wasn't talking about you!" The guy with long grass-like hair huffed at the blonde, walking towards her only to kneel beside her where her little girl was standing with crossed arms. "I was talking about my dear friend Shoyuu! You assuming woman! Isn't that right little Sho?"

Lucy rolled her eyes and chuckled as she watched her daughter look away and yelled, "Hmph!" at his face. "Touché old friend, touché."

He smiled at her and she did back, remembering how the exact same thing happened 4 years back.

Carol was Lucy's only childhood friend, but about three years older. He was the son of a rich business man that formed a temporary partnership with her father, they met through that. Carol was Lucy's one friend, and she cried when he had to move away. She was 8 at the time. It was saddening actually, since he was the one who Lucy could relate to the most and was her best friend…he lost his mother too, only he never met his mother, but to the two of them it was close enough. After separating, they never saw each other since.

But then, old friend met the other.

Lucy bumped into Carol one day at a small merchant town(one she forgot the name of since she was in a hurry to find appropriate food for her 5 month old baby at the time), and they quickly recognized each other, only they didn't get the chance to talk because Carol's train had left just as their eyes met(yes, they saw each other through the train windows). Lucy didn't know why or even how, but she somehow found herself standing in front of his door the next day. Carol let her in and it was awkward at first, but a conversation was made through it and it turned into an endless stream of talking until midnight. Then throughout the chatting, Lucy found out that he was now very skilled in hand-to-hand combat and has been practicing martial arts for the past 2 years. He was a mage too. Lucy, for the first time in a year, had been happy, especially to finally see her old best friend again.

Well, that thought led to another, and before she even knew it, she was crying again. Carol's eyes widened and tried his best to help, even offering his pudding which was half-eaten, but Lucy only laughed it off, it came out bitter though. Carol stayed silent as the blonde mage silently fought with herself that evening, and by the end of it, he was surprised at the sudden request she had.

" _Carol, please…train me."_

And now here they were.

Shaking off the memory, Lucy watched as Carol stood up again after being dejected by the five year old, turning a serious face, "Now seriously, what's with the sudden visit?"

"Well, first off, I froze my ass off back home at 4 in the morning only to not see you after an hour, and finally, I was hoping you, and Shoyuu," Carol added after seeing the little girl's glare, "would come with me somewhere."

The celestial mage rose a brow at the sudden request, Carol didn't seem to acknowledge her surprise as he just smiled at her rather sheepishly.

"Come with you? Somewhere? Is it a job?" Lucy snapped a finger, understanding. "Cause that would be good! I'd finally get some warm up and a bit of money too, we're getting broke…" Lucy lowered her head in defeat.

Loke sweat dropped as Shoyuu agreed lowering her head as well.

Carol noticed their distress and laughed nervously, trying to pat them on the shoulders for a bit of comfort. "I'm sorry girls, I know you have rent to pay Lushin, and little Shoyuu here would like a little more food in the fridge, but this isn't a job." Both heads only stooped down lower, the poor martial artist frantically looked at the celestial spirit for help but he only shrugged. "I-I'm really sorry, maybe I shouldn't have asked—"

"It's alright." Lucy said, "We've got some savings left anyway, time to put it to use I guess…"

"Ah!" Carol smiled brightly, finally finding a solution to the problem. The two girls looked at him with questioning faces, "There's this guild at the town I'm going, you might find a job there maybe? It'll only be temporary, well, until I'm done with the favour anyway. So what do you say?" He held his hand out to Lucy, "You guys wanna come with me? I'll pay for the train ride I promise!"

"YES! Er, I mean, yes." Lucy nodded, failing at attempting to hide her excitement. Shoyuu as well, but the little brat had other thoughts. "When are we leaving?"

"Tonight."

"Wow, so soon," Lucy mused, trying to hide her smile. She was finally gonna get a chance at keeping her place! But then, she asked, "Wait, what favour were you gonna do anyway? And who for?"

"It's just for an old relative of mine, nothing important but he's got something he needs, I'm just more of a messenger than anything," Carol shrugged, an agitated face appearing on his face, but disappeared as soon as it came. "Anyway don't worry about it. I've got my own job to do, I just hoped you guys would come along,"

Loke made a hand gesture at Lucy and she nodded. The leo then turned around to find the client that was still waiting for Lucy's services. She worked for him now and then, but he paid small money and was arrogant enough for her to punch a wall on a daily basis. Luckily, she could skip out on him, thanks to Carol.

Just how much does she want to break his bones in a hug right now?

"Well, you've asked just the right people bush head!" Lucy made a thumbs up, Carol starting to rethink his decision as soon as the nickname hit his ears. Lucy smiled. Finally a job! She hasn't been on one for, like what, months? Years? She doesn't remember but it still was a long time, and she wasn't kidding about being broke. It didn't help that her daughter was an animal when it came to food—that was something that affected almost half of her financial problems. This is a great opportunity! Lucy beamed at the various rewards she could imagine getting, especially with her new abilities, it's gonna be a blast! She beamed, 'Yosh, I'm all fired up!' She thought.

…fired up…she shook her head.

She's over it now. She nodded, she was. Lucy was.

Her life's finally happy without him and that most certainly means that she doesn't need to worry about him, think about him, miss him, or even _need_ him in the first place. Recovery had taken its place a long time ago and she's not about to release it. Never again.

She's already tired of being broken.

A sudden thought came through Lucy's head and she faced Carol, who was lifting her five year old daughter in the air with both of them laughing warmly, she smiled and took the scene in briefly before finally asking, "Hey Carol?"

The man paused their play session to face the blonde with an inquiring "Hm?"

"What town are we going to anyway?"

Carol just shrugged and gave her a half smile, before saying that one word that froze Lucy to her wits.

"Magnolia."

In an instant, all the excitement and giddiness Lucy felt have been drained from her body. The paleness of her face gave that away.

With a simple movement of the muscles, Lucy replied.

"Oh…"

" _Was it true?"_

" _I…"_

" _Oh…"_

"Oh…alright," Lucy smiled, "That's…"

"… _that's great."_

* * *

 _ **RR(Review Replies):**_

 _ **OgaxHilda:**_ _ **Ahaha, we'll see :) I can't think of anything else that won't spoil this story too much so :P Oh and thank you for being the first to review! I cry every time TT_TT**_

 _ **ObscurityDays**_ _ **: Well this story doesn't plan on stopping, I'm being monitored to write this without food or even water -_- Thanks for reviewing, I'm really hoping you'd look forward to it ^_^**_

 _ **FreshMilkySoul**_ _ **: Ah naw don't cryy D: Here, have a chapter and a cookie *hands it to you* :3 Thanks for reviewing! *Calls after you as you leave***_

 _ **Longest note ever. Yes, ever. I've never said this much and—holy ship I'm still typing.**_

 _ **Oh well, hope you enjoyed the chap minna :)**_

 _ **-K-**_


	3. Chapter 2: Maybe I Moved On

_**~\Chapter 2/~**_

 _ **~**Maybe I Moved On**~**_

 _ **\\**/**_

* * *

"WAKE UP BUDDY! CHIKEN PUDDING! THAT'S DISGUSTING BUT I GOTTA HAVE SOMETHING!"

The alarming sound of his cat's yells brought him to reality. With black circles outlining his eyes he shoots up, pink hair swaying.

Wasn't used to that…still isn't.

His vision blurry he tried to bring a hand up to his face and wipe it away, only it didn't work which made him swear under his breath. A spot of blue entered the other smudges he's seeing of which seemed to be his house. No, wait…memories of last night flooded through him.

Oh, right, this wasn't _his_ house…

"Ah, f*ck…" he swore again when something got caught in his eye. It didn't take long for soft paws to hand over a wet handkerchief to his right hand. He rubbed the new item furiously against his eyes. His morning vision didn't completely disappear, but at least now he's seeing more decently.

A sigh reached his ears and he looked up to see the exceed smiling at him brightly. His shoulders relaxed a bit. "Good Morning! How's today's morning catchphrase? Cool huh? I made it up!"

"Sure you did…" He sighed, recalling a drunken Cana using the exact same wake up call for an unconscious Elfman slung over the bar last night. Shaking his head, he shrugged and grinned, "Cool one buddy."

"Aye!" He chuckled at the feline as it made a victory pose of it's not-so-great and not-so-original catchphrase.

But then, the cat's face turned to concern and looked around then at the dragon slayer, raising a paw to his shoulder. "Hey…are you ok now? Can we go home?"

The pink-haired now twenty two year old boy stared back at it's sad smile and sighed, standing up from the floor where the comfy couch he used to crash in once stood, a little pink duvet left behind in it's place. Pulling his usual vest on and scarf he smiled back at the cat, not sadly, but happily, as if to say…he was alright.

He was.

Moving on was hard, but it's still an accomplishment nonetheless.

An accomplishment he finally accomplished.

Now he didn't have to feel depressed whenever her scent faded little by little, or desperately look for her everywhere and fail because it's just no use, she had gone, and now he didn't feel like moping around saying it's his fault, because it wasn't.

It really wasn't.

Even now that he is thinking this, it isn't hurting anymore, because if he had been thinking this before a month ago, he would have still said it was his fault, that it was because of him, that it was because of him that his whole world crumbled under his own feet when he stepped into her apartment, yelled out her name, and received nothing that day.

But now, everything just feels numb. The hurt's gone, only replaced by relief that finally…he moved on.

He moved on from the unbearable pain that he lost her, he was starting to think that maybe he never would have, because loosing her, missing her, _longing_ for her was like going through hell and back, that no matter how much pain the fires of hell gave him, his whole body remained alive while he just wanted to end it over with and die.

Now, if anything, he was willing to go through all that if it meant living to the day he'd see her again.

He'd hope anyway.

But moving on meant second chances, and a second chance with her was what made him stand up from his depressed mess of a life.

Slamming her door open, he stepped back out into the morning sun and breathed in a huge wave of nostalgia, excitement filling his veins.

He finally moved on from his sadness.

He was tired of coming after her because of it.

Now, he was gonna be patient, and wait for her.

Wait for that second chance to happen.

* * *

"Come on…you're not serious…" The leo's face scrunched up in nervousness and panic, his hand held hostage by the blonde as she squeezed it for support.

"I—am—YAAAAGHH!" Lucy screeched out, panting raggedly as she replied. Her forehead was sweating buckets, and one look at her would be enough to tell you how much she'd rate her pain from a scale of 1 to a million.

"Wah—! Na—! Lucy! STAY CALM—AH F**K! KYAAAAAAA!"

"I'M THE ONE GIVING BIRTH RIGHT NOW YOU IDIOT!" She yelled through ragged pants and hoarse breaths, trying her best to scowl at him, "SHUT UP!"

"But your grip's too ti—AAAAAAAYYYYYYYT! KYA—OW!"

Lucy made a mental note to thank Aquarius later, if she survived.

"QUIT SAYING KYA FOR THE LOVE OF—AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!"

"But you're doing it too! KYAA—YAW!" She squeezed his hand harder before he could prolong his scream.

"I…just told you…to see it…AAAAAAW!" Lucy moaned in agony, Loke's panic boiling up in his throat once again. As soon as her hand squeezed the life out of him again he only panicked more, and screamed more, like a woman that was caught in the shower.

"B-But—OOOOOOOOOWOWOWOWOWOW!"

Aquarius gave him a death glare. "Just. Do. It."

"O-Ok fine…" Reluctantly he let go of Lucy's hand, or more like struggled to before his bones could be fractured permanently, and walked over to stand beside Virgo, who was managing the blonde's giving of birth.

It had been two months earlier than they expected, and Lucy had screamed so loudly just 6 hours before that Loke's gate opened on it's own. He thought he was prepared for this, that he'd be ready for when this would come. When this would happen

But apparently…

"AHHHHH! WHAT IS THAT THING?! HOLY SH*T LUCY IT'S COMING OUT OF YOU! WHAT THE—Don't f**king tell me that's the baby. THAT'S NOT THE BABY! THAT'S **NOT** THE BABY! AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!"

Everyone could only watch dumbfounded as Loke's body that was stripped of colour fell to the ground.

"He fainted…ah…" Panting harshly Lucy started with small breaths when suddenly, the pain started to become unbearable, and she let out a high-pitched scream.

It's almost out.

"One more push princess." Despite her monotonic voice, Virgo's reassurance somehow got to Lucy through her misery. Looking around, she tried to keep her eyes open while her mouth involuntarily let out pained noises.

"Lucy, just one more!"

"I can see the head…"

"Lucy, wake up! It's almost there!"

"You can do it Lucy-san! One moore push!"

"E…e…you guys…GAH!" Lucy cried out.

" _Come on, Luce!"_

Her eyes widened.

" _Hey don't give up just yet! You can do it! If you do then I'm not apologizing when you get home and open your fridge...ehehe forget I said anything."_

Loke regained consciousness the moment he felt Lucy's hand slip away from his and he looked at her face. Her eyes were shut tight, and her hands were white just gripping the blankets beside her. He expected to see her head flailing around, with her eyebrows scrunched up, like she was having a nightmare. But it wasn't.

It was actually just lying there, peaceful, almost like she wasn't giving birth at all if it weren't for the sweat on her forehead and her hair messed up.

If it weren't for the small, surprisingly even breaths she was taking…it almost looked as if she was smiling.

" _I'm right beside you…"_

" _Lucy…"_

And then suddenly, she screamed.

"… _I love you."_

" _ **EYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!"**_

"…"

"…"

No one dared to move a muscle as the blonde slowly fell into unconsciousness.

It was dead silent.

Until…

"Uwaaaah! U-uwah! Uwaaaaaaaaaaah! Hic—waah!"

 _It cried..._ , Lucy thought.

"I can't believe it…"

"She did it…"

Cheers erupted from around her as the room suddenly got filled up with almost every happy vibe there was; cheerful, joyful, merry, happy—their voiced cheers were so loud but, not even they could cover the loud crying of the new baby.

Her baby.

A tear fell from her eye.

She could've spread her cheeks as wide as she could just to keep her grin satisfied if it weren't for the falling bricks on her called exhaustion.

She watched with now half-lidded eyes as the fading image of her guild surrounded her, jumping everywhere in glee. She mustered up the strength to bring a hand up to her eye and wipe the nearly fallen tears away.

Everything…everyone…they all just felt like a dream.

This all felt like a dream.

And her baby…it felt like a dream come true.

Virgo smiled as she held it up, cutting off the umbilical cord gently with the help of Cancer, and carefully wrapped the new addition to the family in a soft blanket. It's cries softened when the maid spirit rocked it in her arms a few times, but it didn't compare to when she carefully placed it in Lucy's frail and tired arms.

Everyone gathered around the new mother and her baby.

And for the first time that night, Lucy had actually willed herself to cry.

She almost couldn't remember a time where she was just as happy as she was now.

…

…almost.

Lucy smiled softly.

"It's a girl."

* * *

The cold windy air finally got to her when she saw him.

In that usual vest of his, only now, both sleeves were missing and where the one sleeve used to be looked like it had been ripped off of it's place.

His hair grew a bit longer.

His body had built itself more maturely.

His eyes…just…grew more _intense_.

And he was coming out of her old apartment.

Why, she wanted to ask, but she stayed quiet. Stayed silent. Stayed hiding and…watching, staring, looking and listening.

Remembering.

Seething.

But also…missing.

Hoping…that he'd look this way…and watch her, stare at her, and miss her…just as much.

 _But that's just wishful thinking._

 _Just bullsh*t._

She had moved on.

She promised herself that.

But just looking at him now…it just makes her hate him even more.

For nearly breaking the resolve she's built up for the years she's been away from him.

Hate him even more…for almost…

"Mommy?"

Lucy's blank look didn't falter until she faced the little girl carrying a backpack on her back beside her with a small smile. "Hm?"

"Are you alright?"

"Uh…" Lucy slowly looked back to the front of her old apartment.

He was gone.

Nervously laughing she looked back down at her confused and concerned daughter, "Ah, yeah, I'm alright…don't worry about me."

It took a while of staring, but Shoyuu finally let it go and shrugged. "Well, as long as you're fine Mommy." She started to resume walking the path they were currently taking until her mother suddenly stopped. Shoyuu yawned, walking, "I'm hungry. Let's go get some food~!"

"Alright alright, come on don't walk ahead of me," Lucy said, catching up to her. It didn't take long for her to take a small glance back at the old place she used to live in. 'Does the landlady still live there?' she wondered.

Then, it didn't take long for him to come back to her thoughts.

She thought back to when she saw him walk out of her apartment.

… _I…_

 _I…I needed him then, I wanted him to be beside me that night, to hold my hand instead of Loke, and to tell me everything…was gonna be alright. That it'll all go smoothly._

 _But he wasn't there. Just as some bullsh*t voice inside my head._

 _I wanted him there even when I knew he wouldn't be._

 _And now…_

 _He was right there, when I never wanted to have anything to do with him again._

 _And what's more…he…this ache in my chest…_

She sighed and ran a hand through her blonde locks as a slightly irritated expression crossed her face.

 _For the life of me…_

… _why am I feeling this way?_

* * *

 _Having this new baby…my new bundle of joy…my daughter…is like a dream come true to me._

 _But…_

 _It didn't come true the way I wanted it to._

* * *

 _ **RR:**_

 _ **MarSofTheGalaxies**_ _ **: Don't worry about it ^_^ I'm not assuring you anything, but there's still so many things in store for this story that you have yet to read, and it'll either go the way you wish or not but…trust me ;3 Thanks for reviewing!**_

 _ **OgaxHilda**_ _ **: You'll just have to wait and see ^_^ And yes, this is angst, but you'll never know how I'm gonna put it until I write it ;) Thanks for reviewing again!**_

 _ **KnowledgeSeer:**_ _ **Aw man I didn't mean to make anyone cry though D: But thank you I guess! I hope you'll keep looking forward to this story and it's incoming feels…ehehe…anyway thanks for reviewing :)**_

 _ **FutureMageOtaku99**_ _ **: More to come in certain chapters ^_^ I hope you'll keep reading as well! Thank you for reviewing :D**_

 _ **khffbleach9 : **__**I guess I'll explain it here too. If you guys noticed the last chapter got repeated, well that's because of my mouse—it keeps spazzing at random times and I was trying to fix a few typos in the prologue, so when I finally updated it and went back to the chapters it started clicking at random directions and yeah…one f those directions being the delete button. So yeah. And also thanks for your PM, I appreciate that you like my story, thank you again ^w^**_

 _ **Lady Anime Cat**_ _ **: Well here it is! I hope you'll read the next ones as well. Thanks for reviewing :3**_

 _ **Guest**_ _ **: Updated! Thanks for reviewing and I hope you keep reading :)**_

 _ **I take back what I said, this is my longest note ever…and oh my mavis 7 new reviews for the last chapter. Don't know why, but I just wanna hug all of you…I'm weird, forget what you just read.**_

 _ **Hope you guys enjoyed :) Review if you're in the mood to :P**_

 _ **-K-**_


	4. Chapter 3: Maybe I'm Back

_**Reposted because I changed a few stuff.**_

* * *

 _ **~\Chapter 3/~**_

 _ **~**Maybe I'm Back**~**_

 _ **\\***/**_

* * *

Shoyuu poked at the flower situated at the purple vase in the middle of their table for the tenth time, bored once again as she waited for her mother to wake up. She bloated her cheeks in a pout as she scowled at her, she didn't take _that_ long to eat. Shoyuu looked down at the four now empty plates in front of her and nodded.

Definitely didn't take that long.

Lucy sneezed in her sleep, surprising the five year old a bit. Seeing that her mother was still residing in dreamland, she sighed. Shoyuu didn't have the guts to wake her up, she knew her mother long enough that she gets cranky when forced out of sleep. Uncle Loke had the scars to prove it. Slowly she raised her head that was leaning against her palm and slid off her seat, reluctantly ready to wake up the blonde. She needed to go to the bathroom and there was no way she's going alone.

' _If only Na was here…'_ Shoyuu weepily thought.

As she was about to raise a hand to her mother's shoulder, a spot of green got caught in her peripheral vision. Whipping her head to the right she saw green hair just as it walked past the glass doors of the restaurant. Her eyes brightened, it must be Uncle Carol! He must be looking for them and passed by them without noticing.

' _Savior!'_ She rejoiced in her head and ran outside the doors. Looking around for a bob of green hair, she found it running towards somewhere wearing a cloak. "Uncle Carol!" Shoyuu yelled and ran after the green-haired figure. "Hey! Uncle Caroool!" She shouted louder, but the person didn't stop. Frowning, she turned around for a while and yelled, "I'll be right back Mommy! I'll just go get Uncle Carol!" and with that, she resumed running after the mysterious figure.

* * *

" _I'l…e…ht…ba…k…M…my!"_

"… _Sho…yuu…?"_

" _I'll just…g…et…cle…rol!"_

"… _w…what?"_

"…cy…Luc…Lu…y…LUCY!"

"What the—!" Lucy jolted up in her seat and looked up to see her green-haired perpetrator smiling sheepishly down at her. With sleepy eyes, she scowled up at him and seethed her teeth. "What _the f**k_ do you think you're doing ruining my sleep, pal?"

"Ahaha, I'm sorry I'm sorry. Just wanted to wake you up that's all, people were starting to look at you weirdly," Carol said, scratching the back of his neck.

The blonde only scoffed in reply, "I don't give a damn. Sleep is shameless."

"If I may please include that your bill is just sitting a few centimetres in front of you," He prolonged it a little bit for dramatic effect and the blonde growled at him. Lucy looked down and sure enough, her bill for the much needed food was glaring right up at her, demanding 3,046J. Her jaw dropped. She didn't have that much money!

"I already paid for it so no worries," Carol shook it off with his hand, pride proudly etching into his face until Lucy looked back up at him, tears smearing down her face. Carol jumped in shock and panicked, "Hey hey! I d-didn't mean to make you cry! I-I'm sorry for whatever I did—!"

"Carol-nii…you're an angel."

"…um…"

Lucy animatedly wiped away the grateful tears on her cheeks and smiled brightly at the man, who uneasily smiled back. Looking back down at the bill she sighed in relief, thankful that Carol was finally here to help her out once again. She smiled as she adjusted the combat glove on her right hand.

Carol had given them some jewels just in case they got lost without him earlier. Although, they did technically got lost a little. Lucy and Shoyuu got on the wrong train and it left one hour earlier before the next train to Magnolia would arrive. Lucy had to pay almost every jewel Carol gave her after getting off the train. It didn't seem like that big of a deal until Shoyuu demanded food a little after they explored the town and Lucy thought that the money they had left would be efficient enough to grab at least some bit of grub for her.

She just had to pick this fancy restaurant and that definitely made sense to Lucy now.

That girl and her stomach.

Lucy shook her head disapprovingly when suddenly she flinched. Looking around frantically she realized, her daughter's red streaked black hair was nowhere to be found.

Where...is...

"C-Carol-nii."

"Yea—" He stopped short when Lucy harshly grabbed at the front of his shirt.

"Have you seen Shoyuu?!" She asked standing up. "Where is she?!"

"I-I don't know! I just got here! I just thought that she went to the bathroo—" Carol finally caught on with the horrid look on Lucy's face. Shoyuu…she never goes to do her business by herself. Shock and worry etching across his face he slowly said, "D-Don't…don't tell me she—!"

"F**K!" Violently letting go of Carol's collar Lucy kicked down her chair and paced around, ignoring the strange looks sent at her and runs a hand through her hair almost grabbing it, "Where could that little brat have gone off to?! Ah sh*t," she swore walking towards the exit, "I shouldn't have dozed off. Now who f**king knows where she could have gone off to…"

Hair all around her body started to stand up. This can't be happening, this is a really bad time for her to be lost! Lucy's mind flashed back to how the red streaks on her hair were only starting to grow. The month just started, she's basically defenseless and vulnerable and _who f**king knows what might happen to her without her magic?!_

"F**k. F**k, f**k, f**k…" Lucy repeatedly swore as she pulled out a key from her belt. That key shaped like an arrow with a little mustache in the holder. The blonde sighed and thrusted it forward.

' _If only Na was here…'_

"Gate of the One Thousand Directions!" She shouted as she ran forward, the key glowing in bright blue rays. Finally, she yelled, _"I open thee!"_

' _That kid better be safe.'_

* * *

"Master, that's enough booze for one day don't you think?" Mirajane inquired, laughing nervously at the old man as he gulped another barrel. Savoring the taste of it in his mouth, he takes a minute before replying.

"Call it Cana's influence."

"More like she got the influence from _you_ Master," Levy pointed out, sliding in next to him at the bar giggling. Makarov only replied with a grunted smirk, a greeting he had grown accustomed to giving her, before diving his head into a new barrel of drunk heaven. The little bluenette looked up at the one who gave him said barrel and smiled. "Good morning Mira!"

"Good morning Levy, welcome back." Mirajane answered politely, preparing the orange juice Levy usually orders in the morning. Glancing her way the barmaid wiggled her eyebrows and cooed, "How's things going with a certain, oh, I don't know, iron dragon slayer perhaps?"

"Mira!" Levy scolded at the matchmaker blushing slightly, the latter nodding and answering with a short reply of 'Fine, fine.' Sighing, Levy said, "I haven't actually been seeing him a lot lately. I haven't been here a lot recently, it's been a busy year for me."

"You've been busy alright."

"Gajeel!" Levy said in surprise as the heavily pierced man sat beside her sighing. His presence wasn't what shocked her, it was his hair. It had been cut up until his neck. It must have been over the month, since the last time she saw him.

"Maybe if bunny girl were still here you probably would have hung around more huh shrimp?"

At that, the entire guild hall went silent.

The bluenette stammered. "G-Gajeel?"

"It's true isn't it?" Gajeel once again asked, Mira's now slightly sullen face catching his glance as she handed him his usual drink. Gulping it down, he continued, "You haven't been around much ever since she suddenly disappeared. You were usually gone for only a few days, then weeks, and now, at least one to two months. Yes, we were all aware, now quit giving me that shocked look of years."

Levy wasn't able to find the words to answer to him, so she stayed quiet. The guild mates glanced around at each other sadly, sighing, then going about their usual business. The bluenette gripped her juice, furiously fighting off tears.

" _Cheer up Levy-chan! Guess what? So you'll cheer up, I promise to try and finish my novel twice as fast now. So you'll finally be the first one to read it!"_

"What's with the sad face little one~?" Levy jolted a bit in her seat when an arm suddenly slung over her shoulder, nearly pushing her off her seat. Her nose catching the familiar scent of patronizing alcohol, she looked up and gasped.

"Cana?!"

"I'm back you bastards!" Cana cheers, the guild cheering along with her and her return. "So a little birdie told me you're back! Good to see you again shrimp!" The booze-addicted woman said, ruffling the poor girl's hair.

"Only I call her that…" Gajeel quietly protested but was ignored by the drunk.

"At least your hair looks decent…" She remarked at the dragon slayer before turning her attention back to the script mage. "Missed ya last time, now I'm never gonna stop hugging you~!"

"Please, don't stay true to that." Levy rolled her eyes, then she tried to glance behind her shoulder, "Isn't Alzack with you?"

"Bisca too, and Asuka. Don't know where the hell they went."

"Apparently this is hell," A twelve year old girl with short hair cut up to her shoulders emerged from behind the card mage, scoffing, "Seriously, quit running around. It's like I'm not the child around here."

"Asuka!" Levy exclaimed, the pre-teen smiling when she saw the bluenette.

"Welcome back Aunty Levy."

"Levy! You're here!" Alzack shouts, bursting through the guild doors. "Haven't seen you in forever!"

"A month, actually…"

"Well then you're just gonna have to get used to exaggerations because it really did felt like you were gone in forever." Bisca said, coming inside after him.

Levy looked around confused. "Um, why is everybody cutting their hair all of a sudden?" She asked when she noticed that Bisca's hair was also cut short, only hers was cut into the hairstyle she first had back when she first entered Fairy Tail.

Bisca giggled and shook it off, "I was the one who cut Gajeel and Asuka's hair, they asked for it. I just figured that maybe I'd cut mine too,"

"Ah…" Levy nodded in understanding.

"Don't worry," Cana assured, "I got confused too."

"Mom, can I get a mango juice?"

"Sure hon." Bisca walked up to the bar beside Gajeel, Asuka in tow. Raising a hand up to Mira she called out, "Mira! One mango juice and a whiskey please?"

The barmaid nodded and smiled, "Coming right u—"

"UNCLE CAROL!"

Everybody's heads turned to the guild doors as suddenly, a little girl flew inside, diving into the hardwood floors with a thump and a whimper. Everyone glanced at each other questioningly. Suddenly, their attention went back to the little girl who looked like she was just at about the age of four or five as she stood up, dusting herself off.

"Who's the kid?" Cana asked no one in particular, whispering.

"Don't know," everyone at the bar replied whispering as well.

They watched the little girl as her strangely colored hair flail around as she looked around the hall, unaware of all the attention that was being sent at here. They watched as she glanced around until her eyes locked with…Bisca.

By this point some already lost interest and went back to their usual business, but a few who lingered their stare for a while got to see how her shoulders slumped when a dawn of what looked like realization hit her.

Makarov slipped himself out of the seat beside Levy and walked towards the little girl. She didn't seem to be aware of his presence nearing, disappointment still seeming to be clouding her. At this point Bisca was staring at her strangely, wondering what that was about. By the time Makarov was already in front of her was when she finally had the urge to look up.

"Are you lost child?"

"U-Um, u-u-uh…erm…n-no…"

"What brings you here then little one?" He asked, putting a hand on her at first hesitant shoulder.

"I-I… " She faced Bisca again. "I-I-I, I w-was looking…for…s-somebody…I g-got the w-wrong idea I-I-I'm sorry!" Attention settled on her again once more as she started to cry. "M-Mommy's p-p-probably mad a-at me…"

"Why would she be mad at you?"

"B-Because I-I-I ran off without a-asking a-a-and—" she didn't get to finish as she sniffled and sobbed. Makarov pulled her in for a hug and patted her back. Mirajane quickly came next to him and offered the child a small smile, holding a glass of water on one hand and a glass of milk on the other.

"Which one would you like?" She asked gently.

The little girl seemed enchanted by the beautiful woman, because she almost immediately calmed down, sniffling, "T-The milk…please…" Mira smiled once again and handed her the milk before running back to bar and putting the glass down.

Levy stared from Cana's grasp as Makarov continued to console the kid. "What exactly is going on?"

"Seemed like she thought Bisca was the one she was looking for." Everyone glanced at the dragon slayer and he raised a brow. "What? I heard it from here and she seemed to be looking at her a lot."

"Well, I'm confused. Why would she think I'm the one she's looking for?"

"You must have had something in common with the one she was looking for. The best reason I could think of," Alzack said, standing next to her.

"Dad might be right…" Asuka says, but she seemed to be staring at the kid rather intensely.

Bisca noticed this and asked, "What's wrong Asuka?"

"Um, guys?" She suddenly asks, still staring then faces them, "Don't you think she looks…pretty familiar?"

Levy frowns at this and tries to take a closer look at the silently weeping child, untangling herself from Cana's arms. Strangely enough she let her. The little girl notices her approaching and tries to hide into Makarov's chest, the latter asking her what's wrong. The girl just shook her head a bit stiff as she watched Levy go closer a bit more, until…

"Who…are you?" Levy asked.

Makarov turned his head to glance at her, noticing her presence. The little girl hesitated and looked at the Master, who gave a reassuring nod. She then faced Levy, and said.

"M-M…m-my name is—!"

"SHOOOYUUU!"

Levy jerked up at the familiar voice, and so did the rest of the guildmates. "Is that…?"

Suddenly, the guild doors bursts open to reveal a young blonde woman who had a panicked scowl on her face. She glanced around with fierce speed until finally, her eyes locked into the little girl in Makarov's arms. "There you are you little brat! I've been looking everywhere for you!" She yelled mad, stomping towards the five year old. "Don't do that again you hear me?! I was worried sick and I almost killed Duffrey because of you!"

"No kidding Seniorita." A walking dog suddenly entered the guild as well, a mustache right under its nose with it's thumb and pointer finger rubbing one tip of it. "She nearly killed Duffrey, making him pressured under tracking you,"

"Shut your fancy mouth Duffrey!" The dog with the heavy French accent quieted down in a second. Attention turning back to the girl, the woman yelled, "What do you have to say for yourself young lady?!"

"I-I—"

"Lu…chan?"

It was then realization hit the blonde when her eyes widened at the voice.

Looking up, she saw Levy, looking at her with great shock and a dropped jaw. She looked around and sure enough, the whole guild was in the same state as well.

"Oh boy…" Lucy muttered under her breath.

"Is that really you Lucy?!"

"I-I can't believe it."

"Lucy's back!"

"Lucy?!" The blonde whipped her head to the bar and saw Cana jaw dropping, walking towards her at great speed. "Is that really you?!"

Bisca brought a hand up to her mouth. "Lucy-san…"

"Lucy…" Lucy looked down at the little man behind her daughter who was looking up at her with great relief. "You're alright…you're…you're back."

"Master…"

"Lu-chan…" She looked up again to see Levy walking towards her, eyes streaming down her face as she threw herself into her, sobbing loudly. "Lu-chan! Lu-chan, Lu-chan, Lu-chan!"

Without knowing what to do Lucy just slowly raised her hands and hugged her back, but without knowing it, she was beginning to hug her back with just as much force. "Levy-chan…"

"Lu-chan!" Levy sobbed into her shoulder like a baby. "I MISSED YOU SO MUCH! LU-CHAN! WAAAAAH!"

Cana grinned at the two old best friends and raised her glass.

"LUCY'S BACK EVERYBODY!"

Everyone erupted into cheers.

All the while, the two girls just continued to hug each other as Levy resumed sobbing and wailing her heart out.

When the cheers died down a little, Lucy started to let go of the bluenette. The latter refused the first few times, but eventually let go as well. The blonde brought up a hand to her shoulder. "Levy-chan…"

"Lu-chan…you had no idea how much we missed you! You-you were always there, even when you weren't and—and, that's what made it hurt!" she whimpered out. "You were always there, even when you weren't and that scared me! T-That you might never actually be there again a-a-at, at all!" Levy looked down for a moment, then leaned her face against Lucy's chest. "I…I was afraid that I'd never see you again…"

Lucy gripped both of her shoulders and made her raise her head. "Levy-chan…I…I'm—!"

"Mommy?"

Lucy looked down at her daughter who was looking back at her in confusion. "Shoyuu…" she nearly forgot about her.

"Mommy…?" Levy piped in, Lucy stiffening as she faced back to the script mage, her eyes meeting with wide ones. "Lu-chan…don't tell me…"

Levy was cut off as a familiar voice called out, freezing Lucy down to her core.

"Lucy?"

Slowly, she turned around, and saw him.

"…"

…she smiled.

"Hey Natsu."

* * *

 _ **RR:**_

 _ **Guest(1):**_ _ **Updated :) A bit late but thanks for reviewing :3**_

 _ **alexis100**_ _ **: *shields myself with a non-suspecting Natsu* U-Um w-w-we'll have to wait and see ^^; Thanks for reviewing and hope you enjoy this late chappy :)**_

 _ **FANFIC lover:**_ _ **This one's a bit late but I'll try my best on the next one ^_^ Thanks for reviewing!**_

 _ **taboadayvonne:**_ _ **Updated :D**_

 _ **Guest(2): T**_ _ **hank you ^w^ Thanks for reviewing.**_

 _ **Re-ReNerdyGurl:**_ _ **Glad to hear it :3 Thanks for reviewing~**_

 _ **Once again thank you to all those who bothered to review to this story or favourite and followed. I shall now leave…because I get to write a featured article on our school newspaper! YOSH!**_

 _ **Enthusiasm in an A/N…who the hell am I? -_-**_

 _ **Please leave a review :3**_

 _ **-K-**_


	5. Chapter 4: Maybe I'm Scared

_**~\Chapter 4/~**_

 _ **~**Maybe I'm Scared**~**_

 _ **\\****/**_

* * *

" _Mommy?"_

 _Lucy looked down at her daughter who was looking back at her in confusion. "Shoyuu…" she nearly forgot about her._

" _Mommy…?" Levy piped in, Lucy stiffening as she faced back to the script mage, her eyes meeting with wide ones. "Lu-chan…don't tell me…"_

 _Levy was cut off as a familiar voice called out, freezing Lucy down to her core._

" _Lucy?"_

 _Slowly, she turned around, and saw him._

 _Her eyes widened when they landed on his dark, smirking face. "Is that supposed to be our daughter?"_

 _Lucy couldn't stop trembling in fear as he neared along with his devious expression, clutching her daughter tightly as if her life depended on it. "G…go away…"_

 _As she said that the surroundings around her turned pitch black. The guild hall, Cana, Levy, Master, Mirajane, everyone, they all disappeared leaving her in a void full of emptiness as Natsu continued to approach. And suddenly, his smirk widened._

 _Lucy gasped and looked down._

' _Shoyuu—!'_

" _Looking for this?" Lucy swiftly looked up and saw her daughter in his arms, unconscious. She snapped and stood up, tears furiously running down her cheeks. Natsu sneered at her, "I'm keeping her, after all, I wouldn't want her to—"_

 _To…_

… _to what?!_

 _TELL ME!_

 _TELL ME NOW! –_

"Lucy!"

Lucy opened her eyes.

"Sho—!"

"WHAT ON EARTH HAVE YOU BEEN DOING?!" Carol asked furiously, shaking her back and forth the world ended up spinning. "THROWING YOURSELF LIKE THAT – ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?!"

"Carol-nii—!"

"Don't you 'Carol-nii' ME!" The martial artist practically had falls from his mouth from yelling at the blonde, the latter trying to hold her head in an attempt to control her dizziness. She quickly pulled back, however, when she felt her hair was wet, and suddenly she realized that her entire body was soaked up as well. Carol looked down at the blonde – still enraged – as she soaks in the current situation, until she asks what happened. The green-haired man started shouting again, "What do you mean what happened?! YOU were the crazy one! Ask YOURSELF what happened!"

"Carol-nii, I'm serious, first off where's Shoyuu?" _Shoyuu…_ Lucy's heart banged in her chest. Carol was about to yell again, when Lucy heard the faintest sound of a snore coming from the corner of the room. It was Shoyuu, sleeping peacefully with her head against the wall. Lucy sighed in relief.

She was fine…her daughter was fine…wait.

Carol watched as Lucy suddenly stiffened, but he couldn't care less as he yelled, "Do you know how much trouble you've put us into?!", he points to himself and the little girl, who Lucy noticed was soaked wet as well, "You could've killed yourself! You know, it wouldn't have been a problem but noooo, you grew unconscious! And now look! I don't think you'd still be her—what was that?"

Lucy was mumbling something, Carol frowned. "Lushin what are you saying?"

"…can't…" He was about to repeat when she spoke up again, "I can't remember…"

He fumed, "Don't be stupid! Who in their right mind would forget pulling that kind of stunt?! Sure Lucy," The blonde cringed, Carol had been addressing her by her actual name, with sarcasm, he really must be mad at her, "Sure you'd forget. What you did? Forget it? Maybe you've actually hit your head somewhere in the bottom of that river."

"River…"

"Oh my go—LUCY!" Carol shook her shoulders again, "You really did forget?! Huh?! Did ya?! Then let me refresh your memory— YOU THREW YOURSELF INTO THE F**KING RIVER!" He breathed in, then continued, "Oh, and you know what else you did?! Huh, you know? No? Well, let me tell ya that too— YOU, OF ALL TIMES, WENT UNCONCIOUS BY THE TIME YOU FELL ON THE F**K-A*S WATER! ON A 70-FEET DEEP RIVER! FOR A SECOND THERE, I THOUGHT YOU WERE A CRAAZY BIT*H, BUT GUESS WHAT GIRL? YOU ARE!"

Carol was already panting by the time he finished. Lucy had her head down, but her hands were trembling, too much that it was as if she was failing at holding the sheets that covered her. "I'm…I'm sorry…"

The mage scoffed, "You better be, you got me scared sh*tless," he sighed and sat beside her, patting her head. "Ya know, if I haven't found you as soon as you jumped, you would have been dead by now."

"Shoyuu…" Lucy looked at him beside her, frowning, "…did…did she…?"

Carol hesitated, but that gave it away as soon as Lucy's face turned to horrified. He sighed, "Don't worry about it. She was saved too…"

"Thank goodness…but…" Lucy suddenly had that look on her face…that look where Carol was sure about being serious in, "do you think that…the reason I blacked out was because of…her?"

He didn't get it at first, but as soon as Shoyuu got noticed by the corner of his eye, he stiffened. "You mean…?"

"She tried to come…" Lucy mumbled. Her head fell into her palms, "She tried to get out…she—" She didn't have the strength to finish her sentence. The moment that happened, she jumped out of the bed she was laying down in and ran to her daughter, hugging her with all the gentleness and might she could give. The sleeping child reacted by stirring, but she didn't wake up. "You little brat…Carol-nii…"

"…yeah?"

"…she tried to call her didn't she?"

"…"

Lucy let go of her and stood up, facing towards Carol, "She jumped after me didn't she?" She walked towards him, stomping each step. "She can't swim. She couldn't save me, she couldn't do that, not without _her_ help. And there's one more thing…you can't swim either."

The martial artist scratched his head. "Well, that much is obvious…"

"Then…who saved us?"

The two friends had a stare-off. Lucy was giving him a look that stated just enough for him to understand, Carol was merely just trying to stare her down, because he knew she wouldn't like the answer to that question.

"Do you wanna know where we are first?"

Lucy frowned.

"Where?"

"…the Fairy Tail guild."

* * *

Murmurs were being exchanged everywhere in the guild hall concerning Lucy's return.

Mirajane watched from the bar as everybody talked about how glad they were with the blonde home, sending each other smiles. Some, however, who learned about the recent incident, were giving out concerned or worried looks, and would often face towards the guest room door where they knew she was in. The barmaid sighed.

The person she least expected to be gone…

She shook her head and looked at Levy. The little script mage was pacing around, trying to remain calm even as she knew that the hair on her skin were standing on end. She couldn't stop thinking about how a certain blonde just suddenly ran out of the guild with the kid. And what that kid called her…her pace got quicker.

The white-haired beauty nudged the rugged man that was staring into space at the end of the bar. He was startled, but he didn't complain when Mirajane gestured for the bookworm. The iron-dragon slayer gave her a look, and she gave him a look back, it was him that ended up walking over to the panicked girl.

"Hey Shrimp," Levy looked up at him for a second, then went directly back to pacing. "Oi, don't ignore me,"

"Leave me alone Gajeel," The bluenette said, chewing on her nails as she continued to pace. "I don't have time for this…"

"Well, if you can find the time to waste your time walking around without a destination then you can find the time to talk to me," This time, Levy paused and made a surprised look at Gajeel. She can't help but smile a little, she knew he was forced to talk to her, but it surprised her more that he was actually trying. So he actually changed a little, not just his hair. "So? Talk. Tell me all about your woman head,"

Levy stuck her tongue out at him, "Just because I'm a woman doesn't mean my head's always full of problems," she sighed as she leaned against the wall, crossing her arms and looking down at her sandals. It became silent, and Levy could feel the pressure coming back to her.

"Ya know, your hair still looks the same…" Levy's head jerked up at the sudden sentence, "Actually, everything about you is still the same…well, you certainly haven't changed at all."

"Well, just because you changed your hair and a bit of your attitude doesn't mean I have to too," She rolled her eyes, the man chuckled.

"Pft, please don't." Levy wasn't expecting that response, and felt a little insulted and was about to point it out when he continued, "Actually, I'd rather that you stay that way. Everybody around here has changed, a lot, even me, and that ain't really nice to notice. Yer still the same as always, never changed a bit. It's like one piece of the old times we've had before stood ground since that incident happened. You know, be glad, people like you have the ability to still keep this dumb ol' place together,"

Levy wanted to smile, but she couldn't as she said, "Gajeel…that isn't true. I have changed too. In fact, I think I've changed more than anybody in this guild ever did. What's worse is that I've been isolating it, leaving it a lot more often than I should, going to places further away that didn't even have any meaning to them than just working. I've put work before my family…I've never done that before, I've changed and you're wrong. I don't have the ability to keep this guild together, if anything , I could tear it apart…I could…" She gripped her hands into fists, she didn't want to cry, not now. Not anymore, not when he's watching.

Gajeel sighed and ruffled her hair, the bluenette's eyes widening at the gesture, "Ya know, you doubt yourself too much…" He directed his eyes at her for a second, but her expression didn't change, so he continued, "You love the guild." Levy looked up at him in surprise, "Ya love Fairy Tail, and I know you, you wouldn't miss it for the world. You still return don't ya? That doesn't change anything – this is still your home, you return to your home when you miss it. Also…don't ever think that you changed just because of bunny girl…" Gajeel looked down at her, "You care for her more than anything, you've always had from the beginning and look, everybody still remembers her because of you. If it weren't for you, people would have forgotten who she even was by now. You kept Lucy connected to Fairy Tail Shrimp. So don't ya see?"

By this point, Levy had her mouth stretched into a wide grin, "Thanks Gajeel…I feel better now, so you can go get your fifty jewels."

"Look, I wouldn't have gone through all that speech crap for just fifty,"

Levy laughed.

"You idiot…" She giggled a little more, before her expression changed again, this time into concern, "Well Gajeel, you do know…I'm not the only one keeping her connected to Fairy Tail…"

Both heads simultaneously faced into the guild doors, and Gajeel sighed.

Outside the guild, leaning on a nearby tree was the young pink-haired man, watching the sky. A certain wind dragon slayer came to mind, and so did the word healing. Healing…he blew out a breath.

"Hey Natsu!" His view of the sky was blocked by a sudden shade of blue, which Natsu found odd until he realized that it was actually Happy. Natsu sat up, smiling at the cat.

"Hey buddy."

"That was mean! Leaving me back there like that. My wings wouldn't be able to keep up with you if you suddenly disappear you know?" Happy whines, flopping into Natsu's hair. He could feel the cat stirring around for a few seconds, before it asked, "Hey Natsu? Why is your hair wet?"

"Hmm…"

" _Please—!"_

" _T-Thank you Mister!"_

" _W-Wait!"_

He shrugs. "…who knows?"

Happy eyed him weirdly, but just shook it off as well and laid down with the young man in silence.

After a few minutes, Happy started talking again, "Hey Natsu, is it true? That Lucy's really back?" Natsu didn't answer, but Happy kept going, "I was excited about seeing her again, bit Wakaba said something about not being allowed to see her. So unfair! I wanna see Lushy too!" Happy crossed his arms and made an unhappy face, but even as he kept whining, Natsu didn't make a single sound.

Happy noticed, because after a while he asked, "Natsu? Are you okay?"

Natsu nodded, "Yeah I'm fine…"

No, he wasn't. How would he be? She killed him inside, giving him that smile. He knew that kind of smile, and it was the kind that people showed to the ones they hate. She hates him. Does she? He's not even sure anymore, and it didn't help how she just suddenly…ran off, just as they saw each other again.

Everything was not okay.

"You know, you can always talk to her." The cat poked at his shoulder. "I don't think there' anything wrong with that…"

"You wouldn't understand Happy…"

"Well, sometimes I wish I do," Natsu watched him as he flew to the ground and kicked at rocks, "Everybody's growing up and I'm still like this, like a little kid. That's probably why Carla still doesn't accept my fish,"

"Don't be like that,"

Happy looked up at Natsu, and they both shared a look.

"You're so stupid Natsu."

"…I know,"

They smiled at each other.

But the moment was short lived when a shout from inside made Natsu pale.

" _Lucy's gone?!"_

* * *

"Mommy…are we really going to go back?" Shoyuu asked, a bit sleepy as she held her Mother's hand. They were trying to move through crowds and find their station.

Lucy hesitated, "Yes honey, we have to, Carol-nii already gave us the tickets, it'd be a waste," She didn't know what to say next, so she left it at that.

"But Mommy—"

"Let's just go home honey."

"That was a guild right?" Lucy paused, "That was a guild, where we stayed? Fairy Tail?"

"Shoyuu, let's just go home."

"But I like it there Mommy. The people there are so kind, like Master. Did you know that pretty girl with the white hair? She gave me free milk! And the short girl with blue hair, she was really cute, I liked her. Who else…" Lucy took this opportunity to run towards their station when suddenly, "Oh yeah! Mommy?"

"Yes?"

"Do you know that mister with the pink hair?"

Lucy stopped in her tracks.

"Shoyuu dear, how do you know this mister?"

Shoyuu sent her a puzzled look. "Didn't you know Mommy? He was the one that saved us! He was so cool!" Lucy's cheeks were on the verge of turning red, but as soon as Shoyuu took something out from her duffel bag, every single part of her body froze. "Look, look! Look what he gave me!"

Lucy's face turned white.

It was his scarf.

"Mister gave it to me after he saved me from the river because I was freezing so badly, but I told him to give it to you instead, because you were shaking in your sleep." Shoyuu held the scarf in her hands, and wrapped it around Lucy's neck, surprising the blonde. "He was really weird, being so gentle when he put it on you like that and carried you to the guild. He was so kind Mommy and…I kind of feel bad for not returning that to him…"

Lucy could only stare at her daughter in shock.

Natsu…the Natsu that hurt her, and who she knew was only gonna break her again upon contact…saved her? She couldn't believe it. All his actions were lies, his words were lies, so did he just do those things because Shoyuu was there? Because she was the kid who really needed the saving?

But…for him to do that, he would have to know…

Lucy shook her head.

He can't know. There's no evidence for him to see.

She stiffened. No evidence for him to see…yet.

If she really did try to get out then he'll find about Shoyuu.

But how could she possibly solve all these things when her daughter wants to stay?

All these thoughts were swirling inside Lucy's head, that she didn't realize how her daughter wasn't in front of her anymore. It was when she looked up when she realized what was going on.

"Loke?!"

The lion spirit saluted at her. "Heyo." He was carrying Shoyuu by his shoulder, the latter giggling. He took a ring of keys from his pockets and Lucy's mouth gaped open. "My old apartment—!"

Loke grinned at her and gestured at the kid, "So…whaddya' say?"

* * *

 _ **RR:**_

 _ **nico2883: Ahaha…no proper meeting yet, I'm sorry, but we'll get there, in the next chapter. You'll see :)**_

 _ **serioushugsies: Ahaha thanks! Here you are, hope you enjoyed :3 I hope you'll keep looking forward to it even though I'm basically a loser TwT**_

 _ **: THANK YOU! Here it is, continued and to be continued :D**_

 _ **FANFIC lover: I hope this chapter didn't disappoint you, they did meet though…kinda. But I hope you'll keep reading :)**_

 _ **jessiecantcope: Sarcasm? I dunno…but thanks anyway :)**_

 _ **Mia Anime: I appreciate your help, but that's actually how I put it. It's intentional. I can't really put when it was or where, maybe when, but not where. It'll spoil almost half of the story. I'm sorry if it gets you confused, I'll try to make it in italics maybe? If that's okay with you. But thanks anyway, for your opinion and review! :D**_

 _ **Guest(1): THONKS :P**_

 _ **Niyah606: EHEHEHE :3**_

 _ **fanakatsuki: Yeah she does, but not in this chapter :P Sorry, but I hope you'll keep reading and thanks!**_

 _ **FairyTail555: HERE U GO! :)**_

 _ **Guest(2): Here you go, updated. Although I'm sorry if it's not what you expected…**_

 _ **FutureMageOtaku99: Hahahaha XD You made me laugh hehehe. Anyway, here's the update. Sorry if it's not what you expected.**_

 _ **Kaisling: continued :)**_

 _ **Sorry for the suuuuuuuper late update plus the suuuuuuuuuper stupid chapter. I might be wrong, but I was thinking that you guys were expecting something else…ahaha, sorry, Lucy's a coward :P (jk, I'm the coward…)**_

 _ **Anyway, please review nd thanks for reading!**_

 _ **-K-**_


	6. Chapter 5: Maybe I'm Blaire

_**Those who've read the teaser can skip the first two parts if you'd like :)**_

* * *

 _ **~\Chapter 5/~**_

 _ **~**Maybe I'm Blaire**~**_

 _ **\\*****/**_

* * *

" _Can I leave now? I feel needed…"_

" _I'm sorry, little one," He patted her tiny form in his lap._

 _The little girl groaned. "Let me guess, not yet?"_

" _Yes, little one, not yet…"_

* * *

Lucy bowed down deep. "I'm really sorry!"

Everybody's eyes grew confused. Murmurs started rising as they all watched the blonde lowering her torso. Levy and Cana shared a look, and Master almost looked like he was staring into space. Natsu was on the side watching her intently meanwhile Happy was floating next to him.

Levy spoke up first, "I'm sorry Lu-chan but, sorry for what? You don't have to apolo—"

The blonde stood up straight and cut her off.

"I'm not Lucy."

Silence.

"I'm really, really sorry for the misunderstanding everyone," She said apologetically, but everyone was still trying to comprehend what she said before. Levy spoke up first.

"W-What do you mean you're not Lucy?! You are! You—you…"

"I know,"

Levy frowned, "Huh?"

"I meant, I know some of you, that's why I called you by your names. You see, I know Lucy too."

"What the hell are you talking about?!" Cana shouted, running into the center in front of the composed looking blonde. "What do you mean you know our names?! You're Lucy right?! You said you were!"

"Actually I didn't. And I'm not Lucy, as I told you." She looked through Cana, into the eyes of the guild. "My name's Blaire. Blaire Frinter, and this," She gestured the green-haired man beside her, "Is my brother, Carol Frinter. This is my daughter, Shoyuu. I'll say this as much as you want to, but I really am not Lucy. She's my friend though…" She looked over at Levy, "She told me a lot about you, Levy-chan, or just Levy? I'm not sure, that's how she's always called you,"

Lucy looked over at Makarov, "You, you're Master. She's said a lot about you as well. This must be an amazing guild, she speaks so fondly of you…" The short man nodded conspicuously. And as if the thought crossed her mind just at that moment, she started to look around the guild hall until she found him, sitting by the side, watching.

She stared at him. Natsu wasn't paying attention.

Among all of them, he still hasn't recovered from the initial shock.

" _I'm not Lucy."_

He gritted his teeth.

 _Liar._

"Natsu…" His head snapped up at her voice mentioning his name. "…Dragneel, was it? She doesn't talk a lot about you…but you're interesting. I couldn't help it, I got curious, and asked her about you but…" She trailed off, looking down. The man in question, however, was feeling anger boil up inside him. She can't seriously be doing this. She's lying into everyone's faces, to his family, to _her_ family.

He was about to call her out when Lucy's voice darkened.

" _ **Just so you know, she's never forgiven you."**_

Natsu felt himself die inside.

Lucy faced back into the guild and made a huge breath, and told a lie she knew would change everything for her forever.

 _"Lucy…she died,"_

* * *

The guild went terrifyingly silent.

The face of each guildmate was rid of color. Levy was near into releasing tears and Lucy felt herself break.

She just crushed their souls, and not the tiniest bit of space was left in her that didn't feel remorse.

But she had to do this, no matter how big this mistake was. She just has to make everybody feel better as a different person, leave, and never have to see any of them ever again. It's that simple. They'd never have to see her face again, and so will he.

Would he even want her to stay in the first place?

 _Probably not._

Lucy snapped from her thoughts, because in the midst of the awful silence, a burst of light appeared and a certain spirit made himself sighted. She gulped.

' _Crap.'_

"Hey guys, why'd you leave me back there~? Aquarius almost had me…" Loke cried out as soon as he saw Lucy, the woman sweating profusely. She could feel her thoughts racing, _'Think. Think! Before it's too LATE!'_

"Loke?"

The lion turned at the sound of his name. "Oh Levy! Long time no see—wait." He looked around, and immediately gripped his two companions by the shoulders.

He stared.

An awkward silence.

Then…

" _Why didn't you tell me about this?!"_ Loke yelled shaking the two of them back and forth. Lucy looked to the crowd and closed her eyes, nodding at their faces. _'Yes, the seriousness just got killed.'_

They made another look and Lucy nodded at them again. _'Yes, the cat is stupid.'_

"Were you guys planning to have the fun all to yourselves?" The player took out a hankie from his suit and sniffed, "And here I thought we were friends…ahuhu…"

Levy looked weirdly at the two adults and spirit, and the guild followed. Carol gave a look at Loke and glanced at Lucy, who already more than knew about the arising confusion.

"Loke, stop it."

"But L—!"

Carol immediately pinched and stretched at his cheeks, finally mad out of his wits. _**"What did she just say, huh? Are you deaf, you stupid cat-beast?"**_

"Shorry…" Loke squeaked.

Lucy just sighed and decided to pat at Shoyuu's head, who was already just as confused as everyone else. The child looked up at her Mom, but just shook her head and decided to play with one of her markers. Lucy sighed again.

She knew she should have told her spirits sooner.

Lucy's eyes widened. That's right, her spirits! How is she supposed to explain this to them…?

"Loke," The lion faced to the twelve year old girl after the cheek pinching. Wiping at the sides of his face, he winked at her.

Even with the bruises, he made a kissy face at her, " _Yes, Asuka sweet_? You've certainly grown,"

' _Don't do that when your face is black!'_ everyone thought.

Shaking the disgust off, she finally asked, "Is…is Lucy really, well…" she barely managed to squeak out the word when she said, "…dead?"

Loke froze.

"Huh? What do you mean? She's—"

"Don't worry about it Loke," Lucy immediately cut in, finding her chance, "we already told them about, you know…her death." Lucy made her face dead serious, but left a small hint of a look hoping he'd get the hint.

Loke wrinkled his forehead. It took a second, but he did.

"Oh…"

Lucy faced to them and bowed her head. "We're deeply sorry once again for having to give you this awful news…but she's wished it herself." Lucy silently fiddled with her hair, thankful that the blonde color has turned lighter. She thought it could come as some sort of excuse.

Makarov decided to clear his throat, first to make a sound among them, "Well Miss, we appreciate the effort...but how come you have her spirits?"

Lucy looked up. "Written on her will."

Cana frowned, "Will?"

"Was she really supposed to know her death that she'd even make a will?" Levy stomped her foot, "That's ridiculous! Lucy wouldn't make a will. Just admit it already, you're her! _You're_ Lucy!"

"I'm not. Loke?"

"She's not lying you guys…"

Levy scowled at the lion spirit. "Oh yeah? Then give us proof then. What's her name Loke?"

Lucy tugged at her ear and Loke shifted awkwardly. "What was that? I didn't hear,"

"What's. Her. Name?"

He looked at the blonde, screaming for help among his facial features. The blonde merely tugged her ear again until the lion finally spotted something on her arm.

"Blaire. Duh," Loke said nonchalantly, crossing his arms and looking at Levy as if she had two heads. Lucy sighed in relief, rubbing at the small smudge on her arm and sneakily returning her daughter's marker. "I wouldn't not know my Master's name wouldn't I? Also…" He turned a serious face, "…just face it guys, Lucy's dead."

Levy's face turned red.

"How could you just _say_ that?!" Levy furiously yelled as she tried to break free of Cana's grasp. Loke stiffened and looked down. Levy gritted her teeth in anger, "Look at me! Look at me when I'm talking to you Loke!"

"Levy—!"

"Stay out of this Gajeel!" She answered, and the man hushed.

Levy continued, "She was your princess wasn't she?! She was your precious master wasn't she?! She was the best, you _adored_ her! How long could she have died that you'd be able to speak of her like that?! How could you just possibly expect me to stand here and listen as you calmly tell me your loved one's dead?!" She tried to wriggle to her escape, but no use. She started crying. "Liars! You too, _Blaire!_ Liars, liars, _**liars**_!"

She fell on her feet and started sobbing, bringing Cana down with her. Lucy cringed at the sight of her best friend crying, knowing it was her fault. But what could she do? She can't give her identity up now just to reunite with her and the guild, to come back to the life she knew was the best she ever had.

To come back home meant danger.

Everyone could die.

" _It's a deal."_

" _Yes."_

Everyone…even Levy.

 _Even him._

Lucy shook the thought away.

Levy sobbed hopelessly into Cana's arms and the card mage could only watch and hold her as she tries to cry herself out of her misery. She knew the bluenette refused to believe it, and with that, it's breaking an entirety of her whole apart. As what happens when a family member dies. Levy was depressed, saddened immensely, whatever other adjective she could possibly find in her half-drunk head, but she knew one thing, and that was how much Lucy was a sister to her friend.

Cana wanted to be furious, but even she knew that there was nothing to accept but truth in this situation.

The petite girl continued to cry in her friend's arms when 'Blaire' suddenly came near them and kneeled down, a sad smile on her face. "I'm sorry…" She looked up at Cana, who was holding the crying girl, "Can you…?"

She had the urge to refuse, but decided against it and let go of Levy.

"Cana…?" Levy sniffed at the sudden loss of warmth. Not a second later though, it returned.

But it was warmer…and familiar. Really familiar.

' _It can't be…?'_

Levy's tears peeked at her lids, "Lu…chan?"

"It's Blaire,"

Levy's gasped got caught in her throat, but confusion took over quickly. Then anger. She was about to ask what the hell she wanted when suddenly, her hug turned tighter. Levy mumbled out a 'huh?' in wonder, but the warmth of the woman's embrace was engulfing her…and it reminded her so much of her best friend. She hugged back, the warmth taking over her then suddenly, a thought crossed her mind. She blinked when she realized it. The question died down in her throat the first time…but she found strength to finally ask it.

"Hey…is she really dead?"

"…"

Nothing.

That sound of nothing spoke out to her.

 _Yes._

And she broke.

Lucy tried to maintain a face of sympathy as the girl finally poured out her anguish and sadness into the sobs she emitted. Her embrace on the wailing bluenette tightened, and as she held her in her arms, she knew she was about to cry too.

 _I feel your pain._

 _I really cried…when I lost myself too you know?_

She wanted to say…but she couldn't.

The sad part?

She felt her lie become truth in her best friend's eyes.

Lucy looked over Levy's shoulder to see Natsu standing a few feet behind the both of them, and as much as she wanted to gasp, she choked silently instead.

 _He was crying._

But his face was frozen into a blank expression.

Lucy's eyes faced down and gritted her teeth, rubbing Levy's back as the girl let out a choke in between sobs. Anger rushed in her head, but so did that face.

 _What did it mean?_

Lucy shook her head inwardly. No, the question should be…

"Why does _he_ care?"

Levy looked up at the girl's sudden mumble, "H-Huh?" She sniffed, "Blaire…san?"

Lucy gave a kind smile. "Ah, it was nothing."

Levy's cries died down after some time, meanwhile the entire guild could only watch her. Makarov and Mirajane however were talking to Carol, who told them about Lucy's death. Her made-up…death. The blonde herself had her eyebrows meet at the thought.

Lucy pulled back and wiped away any leftover tears on the bluenette's face. She smiled, remembering how she used to do this whenever the bookworm emoted over some dramatic story she'd always fail to spoil to her. Those times were just like this, a sad Levy and a torn-in-two options Lucy.

The blonde stood up after patting her on the head and helping her up. "She's out there somewhere, free and happy…but she wouldn't want you to be this way you know?" She held Levy's hand and squeezed it. Lucy turned up the sides of her mouth slightly, "Just smile with the happy feelings okay? That's what she always says," _Yeah, to herself on most nights._

Levy sighed and nodded. "I guess…" She smiled up at her, "It's the least I can do."

Lucy nodded at her in agreement, and let go of her hands. She didn't want to turn around so soon…but he was behind Levy. "Loke, let's go home?" The lion spirit nodded.

"Yea—"

"L—Blaire…"

The celestial mage glanced at Carol who called out suddenly. "Hm?"

"About that…you can't go home yet,"

Lucy stopped in her tracks and stared at him, "What?"

The green-haired man waved his hands, "Now don't get the wrong idea or anything—! It's just that, there's someone maybe you'd like to meet…"

Lucy looked at him as if he was a ghost. "Are you kidding me? I can't stay here!" She silently yelled at him, careful not to let the rest of the guild hear.

Carol pulled at her arm and Lucy stumbled forward as he whispered something into her ear.

Her eyes widened.

"Blaire-san." Startled, Lucy pulled back from her friend and turned around, seeing the petite girl again. Her hands were in fists and she looked up with determination. "Can—C-Can I please see your right hand?!"

The blonde froze, "H-Huh?"

"I-If you don't mind…" Levy started awkwardly, "I-I-I'd like to see your r-right hand. It's covered with a glove and L-Lucy used to have her mark on the b-b-back of it a-and I-I know you're not Lucy! You said that but, I'd just like to see o-one more proof I guess…please?"

"…alright."

"Huh?" Levy looked up.

Lucy removed the glove from her right hand and rubbed at it slightly. It was quick, almost unreal, but she somehow managed to dart her eyes at Natsu. He was staring intently. She frowned then sighed.

Raising it, she showed the back to reveal a completely different mark; a red spiral-like sign, which had a small star in the center.

"Here it is," She chuckled uneasily, "I come from the White Starlight guild. Pretty weird mark huh? Ahaha, I thought it was…"

Silence.

Levy couldn't say a sound out of shock.

To see a woman that's closely identical to her best friend holding up her hand proudly with a different guild mark…somehow it doesn't feel right to her.

"Although…" Lucy hesitated, but one look at Carol's face got her determination springing back up. She took a deep breath and spoke, "There's this issue right now, that me and my brother is struggling with and…"

She faced to Makarov and bowed.

"…do you mind if I stay for a week?"

* * *

 _I knew he wanted to shout no._

 _I knew that._

 _But the Master said yes._

 _And the look he gave me left me shattered._

' _You liar'_

 _But I knew better._

 ** _'You lied first.'_**

* * *

 _ **PLEASE READ ASDFGHKKHGFDSADFHJKK(poll on profile)**_

 _ **No replying to reviews because dinner's in two minutes and I'm still here uploading this.**_

 _ **So for future complaints about this stupid chapter—I'm sorry if I can't give you guys anything else better and for this story's incredibly slow flow. This is probably gonna reach about 30 chapters…yeah probably. Don't worry though, summer's almost here for me so I'm a free spirit ^_^ nearly…**_

 _ **Also, my main focus on this chapter was how lies could work out. In some Lucy-Leaves clichés, there are some straightforward stories where Lucy just suddenly appears into the guild as another person and ka-boom she stays and wahhhhh messy story. I don't like that, no matter how many writers managed to pull that off. As for me, I want emotion to actually be there, you know? I don't like how some writers just let Lucy back into the guild and everything turns out like it was nothing. That's stupid. So in this chapter, I showed how I think it should be like if Lucy came back to the guild as another person. With a crying Levy I somehow managed to pull that off…haha(sorry Levy I love you T.T)**_

 _ **OH AND BY THE WAY GUYS, I made this poll on my profile about one-shots I'm planning to write(yes, that's how much free time Ive got now) If you want you can choose a summary you're more interested in and most votes at the next MIB update wins :3**_

 _ **So that's all for now, thank you for reading my story. Updates are coming I'm sure, since I've got a lot of free time now :)**_

 _ **Leave a review and have a good day!**_

 _ **-K-**_


	7. Chapter 6: Maybe I'm Mad

_**I'd like you, dear reader who skipped to this latest chapter, to take your time and reread the past chapters. I know I've been gone for so long and that my absence is absolutely unforgivable, but whoever decided to come back after like what, 2 months? 5? You guys are amazing and I hope you'll continue to support this fanfic. It's still stupid, but you know what I mean.**_

 _ **Enjoy :)**_

* * *

 _ **~\Chapter 6/~**_

 _ **~**Maybe I'm Mad**~**_

 _ **\\******/**_

* * *

"Say something."

Lucy didn't reply. Carol frowned at this.

"Hey."

"…"

He watched as she kept her back to him, arranging a couple items from her luggage into the comfort of the guild's guest room. Carol scratched the back of his neck, hugging the sleeping Shoyuu on his lap with a bit of frustration.

Once more, he spoke, "Lucy, are you alright?"

Her hands paused from folding her clothes, and she slightly moved her face towards her shoulder. "…I'm sleepy." She said, in a clear, not tired voice, Carol thought. She went back to work. He looked down at Shoyuu, who shifted in her position, then sighing as he looked back up at the blonde's back.

"Look, if it's my fault you're acting that way then I'm so—"

"Stop." Lucy raised a hand, then suddenly she turned around, and Carol could see fire in her eyes. "Don't. say that. It's not your fault, it's no one's fault. I made the decision to stay and I don't regret it one bit so shut your mouth and never, ever, say it's your fault and never ever apologize." She pointed at him, emphasizing at each point before walking towards the other side of the room to open a pillow cabinet. "I, _we_ need help and you've got it. And for that to happen we have to stay. I blame no one. It's what…" she inhaled, "it's what's right."

Carol frowned as she walked towards her bed. "Wrong."

She stopped. "What?"

"You blame someone." He said, lowering the tone of his voice as to not wake the sleeping child. "You can't fool me."

"I'm not blaming anyone."

"You are."

"Look Carol just quit it okay?" Lucy said calmly, but Carol sensed her irritation. "I don't blame anyone. I don't blame you or Shoyuu or him, heck I don't even—"

"' _Him'_ …" Carol repeated, Lucy froze.

Bull's eye.

"I—um, I," Lucy stammered, "I meant Makarov." Carol raised a brow. "Don't look at me like that. I'm serious." She walked towards him, carried Shoyuu off his lap and laid her down in bed. "I-I could have blamed him for all this, I don't know I just, I felt like I could have. Anyway it doesn't matter, I don't blame anyone and Carol," She glanced at him, then back at Shoyuu, "this conversation ends. Now."

He gave her the most skeptical look he could pull and rolled his eyes. Something was up, he just knew it, but he decided not to push through. Then he stood up, "Can I lay down next to her?"

"Sure, I'll just go and wash my face." Carol nodded and hopped on the bed next to the snoring kid, closing his eyes as to try and sleep himself.

Lucy watched from behind the bathroom door as Carol started snoring himself and sighed in relief, silently coming out. The sun rays the window welcomed in were slowly dimming. An idea sprung into her head. She grabbed a blanket and draped it over the two sleepyheads, then she grabbed the notebook she placed on her nightstand and jumped out the window.

Her feet landed on a tree branch and she flailed her arms, trying to balance herself. She placed her hand against the tree trunk and looked up, seeing the window she just dropped from. Nodding, she confirmed the possibility of her being able to jump back. She turned around and started climbing up, pulling on hard branches and twigs, until finally she reached the top.

Standing on the leaves, she breathed in and sighed, loving the feeling of the breeze brushing past her. The sunset was nearly over and she pouted, but was glad that she didn't miss all of its beauty. After it completely went down and the sky was dimming down to a darker shade of sky blue, Lucy flopped down on the green leaves. She pulled out her notebook and started writing.

Today's story was all about a lost princess.

Lucy, albeit tired from the day's events, smiled slightly with each stroke of her pen. The fact that she found another high place to write in made her relax. It was a recent habit of hers, that if she went somewhere high, that every little thing below her would turn to imagination, that every building that stood tall before her would become inferior and the people walking underneath will look like dots, periods, the punctuation at the end of each of every sentence. They give Lucy the motivation to finish what she started and make her feel as if every little corner was at her visual.

Being on top of the world erased all her problems for a while.

As the sky started getting darker Lucy just hoped that there would be stars tonight.

"Seems like it's getting dark…"

Her breath hitched.

"Woah, sorry there miss. Um," Brown eyes met onyx, and Lucy sat still. Natsu scratched his head, standing on the other side of the pile of bushes. "Blaire, was it?"

"I didn't expect you to remember…" Lucy murmured, looking dazed as the stare-down between her and the man lasted for a few seconds before she shook her head, then resumed writing, "Anyway," she coughed, "don't mind me, it'll get dark soon so you won't see me anyway."

"What makes you think that I don't want to see you?"

She paused.

"Um…"

"Wait, sorry, I didn't mean it like that it's just," he struggled for words to say. As he did so, Lucy watched from her peripheral vision as he proceeded to sit down. Subconsciously, she wished that whatever branch he was currently sitting on would break and he'd fall and— _no Lucy, stop that_. "It's just…"

"Just, what?" She scoffed. "That blue cat got your tongue?"

"His name's _Happy_ , miss." _I know,_ Lucy thought, _of course that's his name. I envy him._ "I'm sorry if I'm making you annoyed, but you can't just go and be so ru…ru…"

"Rude?"

"Well, yeah."

Lucy rolled her eyes discretely. "Huh, alright. I'm sorry for being so impolite, _sir_."

" _Natsu_."

"And it's _Blaire_." She looked up at him and gave a fake smile, "Thank you for understanding."

He ran a hand through his hair and looked away. Lucy sighed. "So what was it you were going to tell me?"

"I forgot."

"Tch. Dumbass."

"Are you trying to pick a fight?" He questioned, annoyance visible on his face. Lucy shrugged, ignoring him.

"I don't know, am I?"

"Sure as hell looks like it." Natsu plucked a leaf from beside him and pointed it at her. "Do you have some sort of problem with me?"

The blonde flipped a page, "Is that all you wish to ask me?" Before he could answer she spoke, "Well, I don't have a problem with you. Maybe. Maybe I do maybe I don't, but I guess that's the problem with maybes' huh? It hints at two sides but we'll never really know." She glanced at him, "you'll never really know."

Natsu observed as her brown eyes met his and left to her notebook, searching for an answer. His hands were gripping on the poor leaf, because deep down he was frustrated and confused and at that moment he just really wanted to know the truth. She was lying and he knew that, somehow. At least, he felt she was, and this one of those rare times that his gut spoke to him. And he never hesitated in trying to find something out but this time was different.

She was like untouched waters that could drown you in an instant.

But he was sure he crossed this ocean before.

"You know, Lucy liked writing too."

Lucy flipped another page. "Oh really?" She twirled her pen a few times, touching the tip to see if it could still write. "Well why oh why am I not surprised."

"Hey—"

"Oh sure I look like her act like her, write like her. Yeah, I get that a lot." The pen smeared a bit of ink on her fingers, "In our guild it's Lucy Heartfilia and Blaire Frinter, the single duo. Don't get them too close to each other or they'll merge into one!" Lucy waved her inked hands around, as if she was annoyed. She sighed out in an attempt to sound convincing, and by the way Natsu was looking at her she assumed it was working. "I wasn't perfect, Lucy wasn't either. But it worked out well for her because she was able to push through despite all the things she has gone through in the past. She cried, every night until her alarm buzzed but the moment she stepped into sunlight she was more than happy and most certainly didn't need anything. No regrets and no more tears left to shed. And she was glad even, because she forgot about that one person who made all her troubles happen, eventually."

Lucy couldn't feel the cold air that had been nipping at her skin. Her fists were gently crumpling into fists, but her face kept calm as she and Natsu, once again, stared at each other. The confused man's eyes squinted at the intensity of the blonde's brown pupils. She was frowning, he was staring, and Natsu wasn't even sure anymore.

But somehow, he felt like he was punched.

"Lucy was an amazing person, and if I were to be honest, I don't think anyone can ever feel the way she felt. So don't go saying that we're the same and shit because I've had enough of that."

"…"

She coughed and broke their eye contact, looking back down at her notebook. "Ehem, uh, pardon my language…"

"You do."

Lucy flinched a bit. "What?"

"You look exactly like her." His eyes looked at her, but looked away as soon as it did. "You talk like her, sound like her, talk act and know how to fake a smile like she does." Lucy's eyes widened at him. "You're wrong, she isn't, I mean, _wasn't_ just amazing. She was beautiful and hard-working and kind, she never left anyone behind. She took care of her guild when they didn't know how to take care of themselves and she…she just never left them behind until…" he trailed off and everything was silent for a moment until he spoke once again, hesitating if he should have but did anyway, "She looked after everyone and loved all her friends." He faced her, locking eyes with her for the umpteenth time and spoke.

"She loved _me_."

Lucy couldn't dare move, because she was afraid that she would break and everything around her would fall apart. Natsu let go of the crushed leaf and stood up, scratching the back of his neck. His eyes stared down at the leaves below him, blank and empty and Lucy couldn't move still.

Those eyes scared her.

"I wish I got to say goodbye, at least." He sent a smile her way. "She left a little early though didn't she?"

The blonde looked away.

"Well…anyway, I just came here in the first place to call you since, Mirajane prepared free meals for you and your brother…and your daughter too. Oh and speaking of her…never mind."

"You want your scarf back right?" She murmured, poking a leaf beside her. Natsu shrugged, although she couldn't see. He gave one last glance her way before jumping down.

"…"

…

"…."

 _Don't do it Lucy._

"…hic…"

 _Don't. you. dare._

"…w-what—hic!"

 _Fuck._

 _FUCK._

She couldn't take it any longer.

Lucy stood up and kicked at the leaves with great fury.

"That _son_ of a _bitch_!" She kicked repeatedly at a hard branch that stuck out of the middle of the pile, her face red with anger. The scowl spread from her eyebrows to her swollen eyes to her trembling mouth, as she swore, "How fucking dare he. _How fucking dare he_."

 _ **He can't just do that**_ , she thought furiously. _He can't just say those things like the arrogant, insensitive and selfish bastard he is. How fucking dare say those things like he knows me, owns me_.

She gave the branch a hard kick and the tree swayed a little.

 _How dare he say those things like he_ _ **loved**_ _me._

Lucy laughed, seeing the statement as nothing but a joke. Her pants mixed in and she sounded like someone who desperately needed air. Maybe she did need it, because she fell to her knees and all she seemed to be doing was exhaling out every swear word she knew.

She was nowhere near calming down when she realized her pen and notebook was missing. Her anger got slightly mixed with panic as she searched through the pile of leaves. After no sight of it on the surface she climbed down on one branch, and found it hanging off the branch she landed on when she jumped out of the room's window. She sighed in relief, even when realizing her pen was the lost one. But it had no more ink anyway.

She climbed back up and flopped on the leaves once again, trying to regain her breathing. After rolling around a few times and a few inhale-exhale exercises, she sat up, and once again, sighed. Her wet cheeks felt cold as the breeze brushed past them and Lucy looked down at her hands which were covered in ink. Then she realized that the sky was already as dark as the shade of blue on her fingers.

She laid back and brought her hands up to her face, wiping away leftover tears, not caring if the ink on her hands would smear into them. She tried breathing once again, just to make sure that she was done and that it was over.

Her eyes closed for a moment, resting, then when they opened up she started looking for stars in the night sky to help calm down her erratic heart.

But tonight, there weren't any.

* * *

 _ **Notes1: This is actually split in 3 parts since I wrote it long originally. The other two chappies will be out maybe tomorrow or the next day. Depends on how less tired I am.**_

 _ **Notes2: I know this chapter is pretty…weird. It's an indirect confrontation between our two protagonists and believe me it was pretty hard to write. I mean, before writing it I could barely imagine how it would look if they were both right next to each other and talking. I didn't want it to be like most fanfics where, you know…Lucy brags about power and Natsu picks a fight then they fight just so the auther could show off what powers they gave Lucy. I kind of hinted at that actually, but to me if that scene were to actually take place in the actual anime then it would have been as how I've portrayed it.**_

 _ **Notes3: I love pandas :3 Have a great day!**_

 _ **-K-**_


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